Posted on | May 20, 2011 | No Comments
In case you weren’t yet aware, the end of days will happen tomorrow, May 21. I don’t know yet the exact time of the event but it is generally acknowledged that it won’t happen while you’re peacefully slumbering away. Therefore I guess the precise hour will vary according to each time zone. On the menu: earthquakes and other such calamities. Who’s to blame? Canada, of course!
The four horse men of the apocalypse are back : their sex scandals are in the front pages. Arnold Schwarzenegger (War, of course), Dominique Strauss-Kahn (whose actions reek the filthy stench of Pestilence), Nicolas Sarkozy (small and malnourished: Famine) and Osama bin Laden (Death, of course) have been revealed but recently. So there has been a lot of fun all over the world, but in Canada? Nothing but complete boredom; if at least they had had the decency of providing their own local lewd story, a fifth horseman would have unmade the allegory, thus delaying the end of the world. But no, Canadians are much too good for that…
Already we were suspicious of this country where everything seems too good to be true. Hurricanes smite the USA, a tsunami floods Japan, droughts plague Europe, everybody has their load of suffering. In Canada? Nothing at all; this is an unmistakeable sign that its citizens are plotting some hideous mischief.
Everywhere on the planets social upheavals are breaking nations apart. There is fighting in the Middle East, in Africa, and European nations are going bankrupt one after the other – even the USA are about to follow suit. In Canada? Nothing at all; they barely felt the impact of the last recession and money is still flowing freely. There is something rotten in this land of unbelievers.
Of course, not everyone there is a Satan worshipper! Organized resistance has valiantly tried to reverse the order of things, electing a fundamentalist Christian government to change for goot the values of the country. But it was too little too late… Indeed, a majority of atheists and miscreants voted for the other parties. Our collective fate was then sealed.
Tomorrow will be the end of the world. We already know who to blame for this apocalypse: Canada. Unfortunately there will be no one left to cast the first stone.